Saturday 31 January 2009
Fakes
To an extent eveyone is fake.
I'm fake.
My straight hair is fake.
My make up is fake.
Wearing a push up bra is fake.
I only do it to enhance what I already have.
Not to create a new person.
Two guys
I can't decide.
So much shit has happened in the past month.
I just don't know.
I had something perfect - that got fudged up because the wrong end of the stick got caught.
two situations, guy 1 and guy 2
Guy1 :
I like him,
He likes me.
I'm single.
Hes taken.
He thinks we should see what happens
I think not.
I don't like cheaters.
One half of me is saying go for it.
The other is saying once a cheat always a cheat.
It'll blow up in my face.
I know it will.
Arg! KARMA!
Guy 2:
at the moment there is one half of me trying to move on, and the other stuck in this situation.
the half that wants to move on - isn't.
It's stuck in the worlds most packed traffic jam.
Like, I know he practically hates me, or as I've been told 'he doesn't hate you just really dislikes you'
SAME THING!!!
I'm so sorry for everything like.
If I could go back in time, this is the one thing I would change.
Like badly.
I've lost friends because of this.
I could play at his game and make him feel the way I do.
But I can't.
I can't bring myself to do it knowing how I feel about him.
I don't know why I feel so much for him.
We only went out for a month or so. We've been broken up longer than we have together.
But when we were together it was awesome.
Arg!
I love how his hair isn't always perfect.
I love his smell.
I love how he's always blunt.
I love how he's clever yet plays it down.
I love how he always tried to impress me.
I just want him to do that funny little laugh he does.
I want him to hold me like he did.
I want him to carry on being clumsy in the same way that I am.
I feel so good around him.
Felt so good.
ARG i dunno what to call it... it's not love.
I dunno if it's lust.
It's more than like.
But not love.
I feel like it is. But it's not.
I feel like I'm begging all of the time.
I dunno what to do.
I want to stay away. I'm doing my best.
I deleted his number, so I don't text him when I'm pissed or something stupid.
He told me to leave him alone. I am.
I delete him from my profile.
It's what he wants.
I stay away from him.
It's what he wants.
I stop talking ot his friends while hes around.
It's what he wants.
I don't even look at him.
It's what he wants.
Yet I turn around, and hes staring at me.
Out of disgust?
Out of wondering if I'm thinking of him?
Out of thinking I'm going to look at him?
I don't know.
And theres this song.
I'm gussing it's a coincidence, but WHAT A COICIDENCE!
It's like all about me!
If the lyrics are saying what hes feeling, if its not a coincidence.
Then he still likes me.
I just hurt him too much.
I didn't hurt him intentionally.
I didn't even know what I done.
I've explained the truth to him, but he still doesn't believe me.
It does sound far fetched to be fair.
Even I wouldn't belivee me.
I don't know what to do.
Everyone just says give it time. Leave him alone.
I'm trying so bad.
But i feel like it's killing me.
REALLY BADLY.
I liked guy 1 before I liked guy 2, but somehow I don't have the same feelings for him. It's a different feeling. I do fancy him, hes fit and funny, and the rest.
But I just don't have the same feelings.
I feel jus so...ME when Im with Guy 2.
It takes alot for me to say my true feelings about this.
No one gets it.
I can't even explain it myself.
I don't know what it is thats why.
I'm just so sorry.
So much shit has happened in the past month.
I just don't know.
I had something perfect - that got fudged up because the wrong end of the stick got caught.
two situations, guy 1 and guy 2
Guy1 :
I like him,
He likes me.
I'm single.
Hes taken.
He thinks we should see what happens
I think not.
I don't like cheaters.
One half of me is saying go for it.
The other is saying once a cheat always a cheat.
It'll blow up in my face.
I know it will.
Arg! KARMA!
Guy 2:
at the moment there is one half of me trying to move on, and the other stuck in this situation.
the half that wants to move on - isn't.
It's stuck in the worlds most packed traffic jam.
Like, I know he practically hates me, or as I've been told 'he doesn't hate you just really dislikes you'
SAME THING!!!
I'm so sorry for everything like.
If I could go back in time, this is the one thing I would change.
Like badly.
I've lost friends because of this.
I could play at his game and make him feel the way I do.
But I can't.
I can't bring myself to do it knowing how I feel about him.
I don't know why I feel so much for him.
We only went out for a month or so. We've been broken up longer than we have together.
But when we were together it was awesome.
Arg!
I love how his hair isn't always perfect.
I love his smell.
I love how he's always blunt.
I love how he's clever yet plays it down.
I love how he always tried to impress me.
I just want him to do that funny little laugh he does.
I want him to hold me like he did.
I want him to carry on being clumsy in the same way that I am.
I feel so good around him.
Felt so good.
ARG i dunno what to call it... it's not love.
I dunno if it's lust.
It's more than like.
But not love.
I feel like it is. But it's not.
I feel like I'm begging all of the time.
I dunno what to do.
I want to stay away. I'm doing my best.
I deleted his number, so I don't text him when I'm pissed or something stupid.
He told me to leave him alone. I am.
I delete him from my profile.
It's what he wants.
I stay away from him.
It's what he wants.
I stop talking ot his friends while hes around.
It's what he wants.
I don't even look at him.
It's what he wants.
Yet I turn around, and hes staring at me.
Out of disgust?
Out of wondering if I'm thinking of him?
Out of thinking I'm going to look at him?
I don't know.
And theres this song.
I'm gussing it's a coincidence, but WHAT A COICIDENCE!
It's like all about me!
If the lyrics are saying what hes feeling, if its not a coincidence.
Then he still likes me.
I just hurt him too much.
I didn't hurt him intentionally.
I didn't even know what I done.
I've explained the truth to him, but he still doesn't believe me.
It does sound far fetched to be fair.
Even I wouldn't belivee me.
I don't know what to do.
Everyone just says give it time. Leave him alone.
I'm trying so bad.
But i feel like it's killing me.
REALLY BADLY.
I liked guy 1 before I liked guy 2, but somehow I don't have the same feelings for him. It's a different feeling. I do fancy him, hes fit and funny, and the rest.
But I just don't have the same feelings.
I feel jus so...ME when Im with Guy 2.
It takes alot for me to say my true feelings about this.
No one gets it.
I can't even explain it myself.
I don't know what it is thats why.
I'm just so sorry.
My first blog
pssshhh.
This is bare long ting brav!
I should be doing summat else instead I'm making this thing.
It's vell good though.
Dunno what to say.
Just sit back and listen to the life of me.
Like you dooooo anyway.
I like.
Just do it.
Sorry just did it.
This is bare long ting brav!
I should be doing summat else instead I'm making this thing.
It's vell good though.
Dunno what to say.
Just sit back and listen to the life of me.
Like you dooooo anyway.
I like.
Just do it.
Sorry just did it.
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