Don't tell me I'm wrong
Wednesday 17 June 2009
Damaged
Dreaming comes so easily,
Cause it's all that I've ever known
True love is a fairytale,
I'm damaged so how would I know
I am scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
and I need for you to know
I didn't say all the things I wanted to say
and you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
Healing comes so painfully
and it chills to the bone
will anyone get close to me?
I am damaged, as I am sure you know
There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl but I can't go back.
Cause it's all that I've ever known
True love is a fairytale,
I'm damaged so how would I know
I am scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
and I need for you to know
I didn't say all the things I wanted to say
and you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
Healing comes so painfully
and it chills to the bone
will anyone get close to me?
I am damaged, as I am sure you know
There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl but I can't go back.
Can I tell the truth
or does it hurt to much?
hurts me too much to say.
this time i sit and swallow my words, the ones that re screaming to come out and I manage not too look at you.
I saw you look at me though. Don't think I'm silly.
I know exactly what your doing.
All you friends keep stirring, I don't like it and I'm not going to bother any more.
They're not my friends anymore.
The one person I thought was my friend is actually the biggest bullshitter of them all.
So i grit my teeth and shine a smile.
Just for you my dear.
Just for you.
hurts me too much to say.
this time i sit and swallow my words, the ones that re screaming to come out and I manage not too look at you.
I saw you look at me though. Don't think I'm silly.
I know exactly what your doing.
All you friends keep stirring, I don't like it and I'm not going to bother any more.
They're not my friends anymore.
The one person I thought was my friend is actually the biggest bullshitter of them all.
So i grit my teeth and shine a smile.
Just for you my dear.
Just for you.
Saturday 18 April 2009
Wednesday 25 March 2009
I'm quite sure they will say so
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villian by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengence; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Evey: Are you like a crazy person?
V: I'm quite sure they will say so.
Evey: Are you like a crazy person?
V: I'm quite sure they will say so.
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Sunday 1 March 2009
Thursday 19 February 2009
Story.
Characters:
The girl
Best
Second best
The other girl
Once upon a time in a land not so far away, there once was a girl, a girls name who can't be named, but we shall call her The Girl. This is the story of the Girl finding an emotion with Second best and how Second best lost all emotion, except for which we call hate for The Girl.
One fine morning The Girl woke up got ready for her daily routine, and off she went to proceed to her daily ch ours. Once at the castle where she proceeded she met a fine young gentleman called Best. He sure was the best, the finest in all the land, almost every female in sight would love him to court her. The girl was determined to at least have an encounter with the Best. The Girl would sit and mesmerise about the best all day long and every time she saw him she found a funny feeling in her tummy, one that she couldn't explain. We call it butterflies, something magical had happened.
In attempt to continue with the encounter with he best she met some new friends who understood her feelings for the best and tried to help her, one in particular, the Second best. The second best would advise her that it wasn't a good idea and said he already had a mistress and that the Girl really shouldn't waste her time.'But who could be better than the Best?', the girl thought.
As time passed the Girl and The Second best began to grow closer and closer as friends and had many bonds together. One day the Second best was to hold a ball- a ball that all of the castle was invited to, he personally invited the girl, said he would like to see her there. The girl planned to go to the ball, she planned the perfect outfit and went along with her female friends, hoping to dance with some of the gentlemen at the ball. The night was wonderful, the girl had her encounter with the best and still didn't feel thats what she wanted so she left the ball alone without dancing with anyone. Even so The girl had a magical night still.
Some time after the ball Second best started to ask to meet the girl, alone. The girl agreed, but her evil step father forbid her to see the second best and the girl was not allowed to see him, instead she was trapped inside her tower unable to escape execpt for going to the castle for her chours. She would secretly meet the Second best instead of doing her chours, but she tried her best to see him more often, as she wanted this more than anything. What is whitnessed in this story was not a simple story of love, but something not quite love, but something more than like or even lust, just something that can't be explained. The second best seemed to like the girl more than she thought, he was the one who first initiated his feelings for the girl, however the second best did not like the fact that he could not see her after her chours were done, they continued to live their seperate lives outside of the chours, but were almost as one while they were together.
One day out of knowwhere, the other girl, an aquaintance of the girl's, decided to toy with the second best. The second best did not like this and thought he was being decieved by the Girl so he decided to play along with the other girls toying. The other girl told the girl.the girl was upset by the deciet of both her friend and the second best. The girl wouldnt tell the second best what was wrong. When the second best tried to solve the girls problems, he could not help, because she would not confront him as to why she was upset, so the second best became suspicious and knew that the Girl knew of his toying with the other girl. Out of hurt and anger, the second best decided to end all encounters between him and the girl. She was never to see him again. He had no feelings for her anymore. The girl still had strong emotions for the second best and found it hard to depart from everything she knew of him. Would she look up, he would be lookign at her, 'what does he see when stares so? hate? anger? disguss? something dear? does he still have feelings for me? could he be wondering if I'm thinking of him? could it be for his own self pity? what does he feel? why won't he talk to me? is he trying to part with what was? is he trying to forget what was? does hurt him inside? does it hurt him inside as it does I? does it? why won't he answer? why won't he say? I just want to know. I just want it to be back to how it was. Why doesn't he?'
In place of the usual happy ending that fairytales usually have, the story this time ends unhappily, only it doesn't end, it continues and it doesn't seem to stop, she is living the story. The girl is living the story. If only it were a story. If only he didn't hate her.
Andy Warhol
Thing is, he was great he came up with a scheme of art that no-one else had. He had just allowed everyone to follow 'art is what you can get away with'.
But it's not.
You cant shoot someone and say, it's my art, otherwise every fucker would be doing it.
I raped her because I saw it as art.
I wanted to burn that house to create a piece of art.
He made the law different. Not the legal law of course, but the social law we create for ourselves.
Just because he came up with a few great concepts/ideas, every little word he said as of then was taken into account, everything he said was analysed. He may not have meant it in the way they interpreted it, but they interpreted it in an influential way.
The world has become to diverse. Weird has become normal.
There used to be a thick line between those who arn't normal, that that isn't normal, and how that isn't normal. But now everyones trying to be different, trying to create something new. But you can't, because somehow someones already thought it up and you have now become the same.
why thank you dear Mr Warhol. I do say one shall have her 15 minutes of fame.
But it's not.
You cant shoot someone and say, it's my art, otherwise every fucker would be doing it.
I raped her because I saw it as art.
I wanted to burn that house to create a piece of art.
He made the law different. Not the legal law of course, but the social law we create for ourselves.
Just because he came up with a few great concepts/ideas, every little word he said as of then was taken into account, everything he said was analysed. He may not have meant it in the way they interpreted it, but they interpreted it in an influential way.
The world has become to diverse. Weird has become normal.
There used to be a thick line between those who arn't normal, that that isn't normal, and how that isn't normal. But now everyones trying to be different, trying to create something new. But you can't, because somehow someones already thought it up and you have now become the same.
why thank you dear Mr Warhol. I do say one shall have her 15 minutes of fame.
Thursday, July 27, 1978
After work I just stayed in. Watched 20/20 and instead of saying, "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes," it was so funny to hear Hugh Downs say, "As Andy Warhol once said, in fifteen minutes everybody will be famous." People on TV always get some part wrong, like - "In the future fifteen people will be famous."
Saturday, January 21, 1978
We went outside to try to get a cab but we couldn't. Then along came a white guy and a black girl in a car who offered us a ride anywhere we wanted to go, and we took it. They said that Stevie wouldn't let them in to Studio 54 because they didn't look right, but they looked okay to me - I mean, he looked like a fairy and she looked like a drag queen, it was the Studio 54 look.
Wednesday 18 February 2009
Secret
I can't tell anyone.
One is too personal, I can't bring myself to tell anyone. Not even Holly. Not even Jaz. Not even Mitch. It's weird I've never had something like that before, where I can't tell anyone.
there is this other thing, like I want to tell people but can't I want to keep this one a secret, well at least until it's over and done with and all results are good :) be the best surprise ever.
One is too personal, I can't bring myself to tell anyone. Not even Holly. Not even Jaz. Not even Mitch. It's weird I've never had something like that before, where I can't tell anyone.
there is this other thing, like I want to tell people but can't I want to keep this one a secret, well at least until it's over and done with and all results are good :) be the best surprise ever.
Dreams
can't go ahead when thinking about stupid things.
yoiu lie in bed and no matter how hard you try, no matter how long you keep your eyes closed, your mind still wanders and keeps thinking of those stupid little things.
mine being:
*Boys. In particualr, -
-boy number 1 (being the ex)
-boy number 2 (being the taken)
-boy number 3 (being the making me confused)
*Driving
*School
*Work
*Hospital
*My back
*Money issues
*Time consumption
*Losing out on all of the above.
*Staring to miss someone :'(
yoiu lie in bed and no matter how hard you try, no matter how long you keep your eyes closed, your mind still wanders and keeps thinking of those stupid little things.
mine being:
*Boys. In particualr, -
-boy number 1 (being the ex)
-boy number 2 (being the taken)
-boy number 3 (being the making me confused)
*Driving
*School
*Work
*Hospital
*My back
*Money issues
*Time consumption
*Losing out on all of the above.
*Staring to miss someone :'(
Tuesday 17 February 2009
humddidyhumhoyourmumsbum
right, dialema time.
need your help like.
:)
like theres this guy, like, he keeps sending mixed messages like.
like one minute he'll be asking for advise about one of my best mates, then the next he's saying I should go to his, he tells me the truth about how guys are 'dont get with him hes a prick' 'im really sorry zoe but hes not interested' 'just us two go out, no1 else' which i kinda like hes a 'gentleman'
i dont want a relationship though.
i want the surf and turf.
he says thats all he wants but the way he speaks about her is like he wants more.
its weird with guys you never know how they think.
i spose thats why i stick with guys who 'just want sex' cos the ones i get with break up with me or continously flirt with others just to make me break up with them cos they feel bad the other way around.
help!
i would jus get with him. but i dnoooooooooooooooooooooooo.
:)
to do or not to do, tis the question.
need your help like.
:)
like theres this guy, like, he keeps sending mixed messages like.
like one minute he'll be asking for advise about one of my best mates, then the next he's saying I should go to his, he tells me the truth about how guys are 'dont get with him hes a prick' 'im really sorry zoe but hes not interested' 'just us two go out, no1 else' which i kinda like hes a 'gentleman'
i dont want a relationship though.
i want the surf and turf.
he says thats all he wants but the way he speaks about her is like he wants more.
its weird with guys you never know how they think.
i spose thats why i stick with guys who 'just want sex' cos the ones i get with break up with me or continously flirt with others just to make me break up with them cos they feel bad the other way around.
help!
i would jus get with him. but i dnoooooooooooooooooooooooo.
:)
to do or not to do, tis the question.
Sunday 15 February 2009
OMGOMGOMG
BIG FATTTTT CRUSH!
BIG FAT CRUSH!
BIG FAT CRUSH!
didn't realise it till today.
I knew i liked him,
but not like properly.
he blew me off for tomorrow.
and fuck me! i was like 'yeah ok no probs'
but really wanned to cry.
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssuslordofholyshite
ive just turned religous cosa him.
arg!
guysguysguys stop all this messin with my nod plsssssssssssssss!
its sendin me nuts.
he is going to see his grandpapapapapapapapaaaaaaaaa though so to be fair it is for a good reason.
but stillllllllllll, omg it was gonna be so good!
pssshhhh. just make it even better for when i do see him.
mawahahahahhahahahaha!
BIG FAT CRUSH!
BIG FAT CRUSH!
didn't realise it till today.
I knew i liked him,
but not like properly.
he blew me off for tomorrow.
and fuck me! i was like 'yeah ok no probs'
but really wanned to cry.
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssuslordofholyshite
ive just turned religous cosa him.
arg!
guysguysguys stop all this messin with my nod plsssssssssssssss!
its sendin me nuts.
he is going to see his grandpapapapapapapapaaaaaaaaa though so to be fair it is for a good reason.
but stillllllllllll, omg it was gonna be so good!
pssshhhh. just make it even better for when i do see him.
mawahahahahhahahahaha!
Wednesday 11 February 2009
Monday 9 February 2009
Go shove sumat up your rassssssclass
Do you ever wish you could just escape for a little while, come back and everyone has forgotten?
well i do.
the one thing i could hope for right now.
i can't even sleep properly anymore.
so much streeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz.
schools just a piss take now.
works just a piss take.
the way i look is just a piss take.
yano like some people are given good genes and some are just plain ugly. well im one of the ugly people.
i wish i could turn back time.
arg I want you so bad.
so.fucking.badly.
right now:
*i have to put slippers on cos im blitz
*I have to write an essay, ohlapins
*I have to print fabric transfers.
*I have to face steam.
*I have to write up drama
*I have to read trainspotting
*I have to read Mrs Lazarus
*I have to read Frau Freud
*I have to get offa his myspace and stop daydreaming at his pics.
*I feel like I'm 13 going on 30.
*I have the worst headache
*I have a backache.
*I kinda have a new crush, but still crushing on the old so again it's complicated.
*My room is a tip
*I have to find My textiles folder in the tip.
*I have a decnt amount in my bank account doing fuck all and I want to spend on what I was saving for but I keep forgetting.
*I'm not unhappy.
*I'm not happy.
*I'm not unsatisfied
*I'm not satisfied.
*I'm Lonley.
*I hate valentines day!
well i do.
the one thing i could hope for right now.
i can't even sleep properly anymore.
so much streeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz.
schools just a piss take now.
works just a piss take.
the way i look is just a piss take.
yano like some people are given good genes and some are just plain ugly. well im one of the ugly people.
i wish i could turn back time.
arg I want you so bad.
so.fucking.badly.
right now:
*i have to put slippers on cos im blitz
*I have to write an essay, ohlapins
*I have to print fabric transfers.
*I have to face steam.
*I have to write up drama
*I have to read trainspotting
*I have to read Mrs Lazarus
*I have to read Frau Freud
*I have to get offa his myspace and stop daydreaming at his pics.
*I feel like I'm 13 going on 30.
*I have the worst headache
*I have a backache.
*I kinda have a new crush, but still crushing on the old so again it's complicated.
*My room is a tip
*I have to find My textiles folder in the tip.
*I have a decnt amount in my bank account doing fuck all and I want to spend on what I was saving for but I keep forgetting.
*I'm not unhappy.
*I'm not happy.
*I'm not unsatisfied
*I'm not satisfied.
*I'm Lonley.
*I hate valentines day!
Sunday 8 February 2009
Drunken Monkey Fumbling
not too sure what actually precisly occured last night.
think i got all of it, but knowing me there was more to it.
most likley.
well all i remember is being fondled, being cornered by some bloke, james, james and tom going ape shit at the bloke then me dancing having my drink knocked everywhere (in my shoes may i add) being told i have a nice arse, telling James how much I love him, telling everyone how I lost my virginity, crying in the toilets alone for like half hour over thinking about the one i lost it to, coming out everyone tellin me to get anohter one down me, dancng and laughing over fuk knows, having some wanted company :P (more fondling, but of the wanted kind) waiting for a cab, falling down the steps getting into the cab james taking me home and me getting home crashin out, laying in bed and hearing the rents discussing all of my anticts with james in fits of laughter. ahhhhhhh now waking up finding sumat wrong with my arm and my eyes barely able to open.
and now ive got to face them all today with a shame upon my face.
oh and i also have a reply from jasmine to a message i dont remeber sending last night, i dont even remeber going on facebook, or the computer for that matter. :S yeah sorry jaz, that was pretty bad.
enjoyed myself though. going out wiht the guys is a million times more relazing than with girls. sounds weird but it is. :)
think i got all of it, but knowing me there was more to it.
most likley.
well all i remember is being fondled, being cornered by some bloke, james, james and tom going ape shit at the bloke then me dancing having my drink knocked everywhere (in my shoes may i add) being told i have a nice arse, telling James how much I love him, telling everyone how I lost my virginity, crying in the toilets alone for like half hour over thinking about the one i lost it to, coming out everyone tellin me to get anohter one down me, dancng and laughing over fuk knows, having some wanted company :P (more fondling, but of the wanted kind) waiting for a cab, falling down the steps getting into the cab james taking me home and me getting home crashin out, laying in bed and hearing the rents discussing all of my anticts with james in fits of laughter. ahhhhhhh now waking up finding sumat wrong with my arm and my eyes barely able to open.
and now ive got to face them all today with a shame upon my face.
oh and i also have a reply from jasmine to a message i dont remeber sending last night, i dont even remeber going on facebook, or the computer for that matter. :S yeah sorry jaz, that was pretty bad.
enjoyed myself though. going out wiht the guys is a million times more relazing than with girls. sounds weird but it is. :)
Friday 6 February 2009
Whats a girl to do?
Life is so complicated:
*I ask for more shifts in the summer, dont get them
*Go back to school, they lombard me with mountains of work
*I now have no time for anything.
*Dads starting on me on a constant:
'not paying my way'
'its what life is about'
'i dont do anything around the house'
'i should think myself lucky'
'all you ever do is spend time with your stupid fucking mates'
'your wasting your time in school'
'stop beign so fucking miserable all the time'
'look i dont give a shit what your posh little mates do, your not!'
'who are you with? ginger nut?'
'where are you? pub?'
'how much did u spend? why?'
'you dont like it fuck off outa my house then'
'your not going anywhere while living under this roof.'
'your just like stacey, you are. exactly how she was at your age'
'do you wanna end up tower block trash?'
'im only looking out for you'
see what I have to live with???????
Last night
watching denzel, or should i say denzil, was halarious.
lets start from the beggining.
-we went to see denzel at the incognito theatre
-we got the programs
-on the programs it said said Denzil Sanderson: they spelt his name wrong
-we looked on the character basis and Denzil was playing Black caesar...possibly because hes black??? :)
-we whitnessed the most disturbing kiss ever. an old man and girl id say about 20 frenching with sound effects and all. good thing i hadn't eaten.
-The interval came and i got up - big mistake- nearly knocking three peoples cup of tea out of their hands and falling down two steps, one after another.
-Denzil finally came on and was brill, until he had to do a drunken fall, which omg was funny but danshhhhhe wt wer u thinking???? :)
-the end of the play finally arrives and all the cast is on stage and Debzil manages to break the drum around his neck.
-What an end!!!!
Looove you dansheeeee. :D
lets start from the beggining.
-we went to see denzel at the incognito theatre
-we got the programs
-on the programs it said said Denzil Sanderson: they spelt his name wrong
-we looked on the character basis and Denzil was playing Black caesar...possibly because hes black??? :)
-we whitnessed the most disturbing kiss ever. an old man and girl id say about 20 frenching with sound effects and all. good thing i hadn't eaten.
-The interval came and i got up - big mistake- nearly knocking three peoples cup of tea out of their hands and falling down two steps, one after another.
-Denzil finally came on and was brill, until he had to do a drunken fall, which omg was funny but danshhhhhe wt wer u thinking???? :)
-the end of the play finally arrives and all the cast is on stage and Debzil manages to break the drum around his neck.
-What an end!!!!
Looove you dansheeeee. :D
Thursday 5 February 2009
Theatre
Is wonderland for me.
I love it.
Acting is my life.
I love to act.
pshhhmeow!
Going to watch danshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeee for a bizzle now.
tarrrraaaaaa.
gone to Mnallies. :)
I love it.
Acting is my life.
I love to act.
pshhhmeow!
Going to watch danshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeee for a bizzle now.
tarrrraaaaaa.
gone to Mnallies. :)
Don't get you undies in a twist
Colin: I wear silkies
Zoe: god forbid cotton.
Snow day was great.
bought weelies.
bright pink wellies.
raped Colin some.
had some burger time with Colin.
rocky horror for 2?
ROCKY HORROR FOR 2 IT IS!
Zoe: god forbid cotton.
Snow day was great.
bought weelies.
bright pink wellies.
raped Colin some.
had some burger time with Colin.
rocky horror for 2?
ROCKY HORROR FOR 2 IT IS!
Wednesday 4 February 2009
Just love it
how all of my posts end up about him.
sad fucker I am.
Maybe I should shut up for once.
sad fucker I am.
Maybe I should shut up for once.
Just maybe.
Snow like
I wish I could be this happy everyday.It's funny how 4 inches of snow can make so many people happy.
Also how you can hurt yourself like ur pissed as a fart and not give two monkeys, just aslong as your still having fun and don't get hit by a snowball.
The past two days have been the best.
Better than Christmas at least.
I saw him.
He was so gorgy.
He looked straight at me. Again.
This time I didn't look away.
Instead I just left.
Then had to return an hour later. ooops.
I saw him later also, but I didn't look then.
But he and his best mate looked.
If looks could burn.
I'd be scarred.
Lifes good I guess.
As long as he's happy. I'm happy. Right?
Madly in like with you
You know when you wish you could stop feelings but you just can't?
I just can't help myself.
I want to hate you so badly.
The pain your causing me.
But I don't.
Your just so... PERFECT.
If only you knew how perfect I see you.
If only you could see me so perfect.
I Want You
'Just exactly like I used to,
cos baby this is only bringing me down.'
I don't know how to stop dwelling.
This is the worst I've ever been.
Crying doesn't help.
Hospital was shit.
Always is.
Never get any conclusions.
Never get any answers.
Never gets solved.
My life story.
Saturday 31 January 2009
Fakes
To an extent eveyone is fake.
I'm fake.
My straight hair is fake.
My make up is fake.
Wearing a push up bra is fake.
I only do it to enhance what I already have.
Not to create a new person.
Two guys
I can't decide.
So much shit has happened in the past month.
I just don't know.
I had something perfect - that got fudged up because the wrong end of the stick got caught.
two situations, guy 1 and guy 2
Guy1 :
I like him,
He likes me.
I'm single.
Hes taken.
He thinks we should see what happens
I think not.
I don't like cheaters.
One half of me is saying go for it.
The other is saying once a cheat always a cheat.
It'll blow up in my face.
I know it will.
Arg! KARMA!
Guy 2:
at the moment there is one half of me trying to move on, and the other stuck in this situation.
the half that wants to move on - isn't.
It's stuck in the worlds most packed traffic jam.
Like, I know he practically hates me, or as I've been told 'he doesn't hate you just really dislikes you'
SAME THING!!!
I'm so sorry for everything like.
If I could go back in time, this is the one thing I would change.
Like badly.
I've lost friends because of this.
I could play at his game and make him feel the way I do.
But I can't.
I can't bring myself to do it knowing how I feel about him.
I don't know why I feel so much for him.
We only went out for a month or so. We've been broken up longer than we have together.
But when we were together it was awesome.
Arg!
I love how his hair isn't always perfect.
I love his smell.
I love how he's always blunt.
I love how he's clever yet plays it down.
I love how he always tried to impress me.
I just want him to do that funny little laugh he does.
I want him to hold me like he did.
I want him to carry on being clumsy in the same way that I am.
I feel so good around him.
Felt so good.
ARG i dunno what to call it... it's not love.
I dunno if it's lust.
It's more than like.
But not love.
I feel like it is. But it's not.
I feel like I'm begging all of the time.
I dunno what to do.
I want to stay away. I'm doing my best.
I deleted his number, so I don't text him when I'm pissed or something stupid.
He told me to leave him alone. I am.
I delete him from my profile.
It's what he wants.
I stay away from him.
It's what he wants.
I stop talking ot his friends while hes around.
It's what he wants.
I don't even look at him.
It's what he wants.
Yet I turn around, and hes staring at me.
Out of disgust?
Out of wondering if I'm thinking of him?
Out of thinking I'm going to look at him?
I don't know.
And theres this song.
I'm gussing it's a coincidence, but WHAT A COICIDENCE!
It's like all about me!
If the lyrics are saying what hes feeling, if its not a coincidence.
Then he still likes me.
I just hurt him too much.
I didn't hurt him intentionally.
I didn't even know what I done.
I've explained the truth to him, but he still doesn't believe me.
It does sound far fetched to be fair.
Even I wouldn't belivee me.
I don't know what to do.
Everyone just says give it time. Leave him alone.
I'm trying so bad.
But i feel like it's killing me.
REALLY BADLY.
I liked guy 1 before I liked guy 2, but somehow I don't have the same feelings for him. It's a different feeling. I do fancy him, hes fit and funny, and the rest.
But I just don't have the same feelings.
I feel jus so...ME when Im with Guy 2.
It takes alot for me to say my true feelings about this.
No one gets it.
I can't even explain it myself.
I don't know what it is thats why.
I'm just so sorry.
So much shit has happened in the past month.
I just don't know.
I had something perfect - that got fudged up because the wrong end of the stick got caught.
two situations, guy 1 and guy 2
Guy1 :
I like him,
He likes me.
I'm single.
Hes taken.
He thinks we should see what happens
I think not.
I don't like cheaters.
One half of me is saying go for it.
The other is saying once a cheat always a cheat.
It'll blow up in my face.
I know it will.
Arg! KARMA!
Guy 2:
at the moment there is one half of me trying to move on, and the other stuck in this situation.
the half that wants to move on - isn't.
It's stuck in the worlds most packed traffic jam.
Like, I know he practically hates me, or as I've been told 'he doesn't hate you just really dislikes you'
SAME THING!!!
I'm so sorry for everything like.
If I could go back in time, this is the one thing I would change.
Like badly.
I've lost friends because of this.
I could play at his game and make him feel the way I do.
But I can't.
I can't bring myself to do it knowing how I feel about him.
I don't know why I feel so much for him.
We only went out for a month or so. We've been broken up longer than we have together.
But when we were together it was awesome.
Arg!
I love how his hair isn't always perfect.
I love his smell.
I love how he's always blunt.
I love how he's clever yet plays it down.
I love how he always tried to impress me.
I just want him to do that funny little laugh he does.
I want him to hold me like he did.
I want him to carry on being clumsy in the same way that I am.
I feel so good around him.
Felt so good.
ARG i dunno what to call it... it's not love.
I dunno if it's lust.
It's more than like.
But not love.
I feel like it is. But it's not.
I feel like I'm begging all of the time.
I dunno what to do.
I want to stay away. I'm doing my best.
I deleted his number, so I don't text him when I'm pissed or something stupid.
He told me to leave him alone. I am.
I delete him from my profile.
It's what he wants.
I stay away from him.
It's what he wants.
I stop talking ot his friends while hes around.
It's what he wants.
I don't even look at him.
It's what he wants.
Yet I turn around, and hes staring at me.
Out of disgust?
Out of wondering if I'm thinking of him?
Out of thinking I'm going to look at him?
I don't know.
And theres this song.
I'm gussing it's a coincidence, but WHAT A COICIDENCE!
It's like all about me!
If the lyrics are saying what hes feeling, if its not a coincidence.
Then he still likes me.
I just hurt him too much.
I didn't hurt him intentionally.
I didn't even know what I done.
I've explained the truth to him, but he still doesn't believe me.
It does sound far fetched to be fair.
Even I wouldn't belivee me.
I don't know what to do.
Everyone just says give it time. Leave him alone.
I'm trying so bad.
But i feel like it's killing me.
REALLY BADLY.
I liked guy 1 before I liked guy 2, but somehow I don't have the same feelings for him. It's a different feeling. I do fancy him, hes fit and funny, and the rest.
But I just don't have the same feelings.
I feel jus so...ME when Im with Guy 2.
It takes alot for me to say my true feelings about this.
No one gets it.
I can't even explain it myself.
I don't know what it is thats why.
I'm just so sorry.
My first blog
pssshhh.
This is bare long ting brav!
I should be doing summat else instead I'm making this thing.
It's vell good though.
Dunno what to say.
Just sit back and listen to the life of me.
Like you dooooo anyway.
I like.
Just do it.
Sorry just did it.
This is bare long ting brav!
I should be doing summat else instead I'm making this thing.
It's vell good though.
Dunno what to say.
Just sit back and listen to the life of me.
Like you dooooo anyway.
I like.
Just do it.
Sorry just did it.
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